And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
