I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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