I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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