i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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