Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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