Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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