I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
