Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
