You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize