I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
