How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
