ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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