why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I skipped work to stalk him.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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