is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
