Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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