I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm both gender and math confused
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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