i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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