You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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