So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
