I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
