we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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