i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Randomize
