We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize