your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize