We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She bit a glass in half.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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