It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
