No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize