In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
