Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
