The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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