I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
