"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize