recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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