don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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