Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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