Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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