real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
