I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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