What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
