great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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