She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
