i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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