i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
