Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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