So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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