Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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