Fine. I'll sleep in my office
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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