he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
