I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
