Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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