I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
