Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Damn victory sex feels great
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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