Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
