I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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