Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
