I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
