i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
