There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
