he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
