she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
