is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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