I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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