so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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