Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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