I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
