Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
