Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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