There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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