what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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