You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
