God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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