can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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