Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
