WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
