put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
