She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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